HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET LOVELY DEMRI

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 Demri Lara Parrott Murphy (February 22nd 1969 – October 29th 1996) was a professional international American adult/glamour model, fashion model, artist, fashion designer/stylist, poet and muse, and an amateur actress, girlfriend and later fiancée of Alice in Chains singer Layne Staley. She struggled with addiction and its consequent ill-health for much of her adult life.

1983 - Demri (R) with her mother Kathleen, and her half-brothers David James Michael Murphy, Devin C. Remme and Derek J. P. Murphy. Shared by her cousin Kaytie Lee.

Early years & Family

Demri was born in Bremerton, Kitsap County, Washington, in the United States of America.

She was the biological daughter of Kathleen Ann née Austin and Dennis Wayne Dougherty, but at the time of her birth, her 18-year-old mother had been married to Stephen John Parrott, aged 21, for 21 days. He adopted her and her birth name became Demri Lara Parrott.  She had three younger half-brothers from her mother’s side, Devin Remme, and Derek and David Murphy; and a younger half sister from her biological father’s side, Christa Dougherty. She didn’t met her biological father and half sister until she was an adult.

She was of Native American (Cherokee), Irish, Scottish, remote Welsh, English, and Swiss-German descent. She was tiny (around 4'11", 150cm or 5’, 152 cm), dark-featured, with long dark hair and dark eyes.

In the 1980s Demri was adopted by her then step-father Dennis Murphy and she used his surname too, going by Demri Murphy but never legally changing her name. She moved around to different high schools in the 1980s. She studied at the Arlington High School, Washington (1984 – 1986); the Lakewood High School, Arlington, WA (1986); and the Douglas Anderson School of the Arts, Jacksonville, Florida (1985 – 1989).

Demri was passionate about many things and excelled in art and theater. She was interested in philosophy and poetry, and loved to collect vintage clothes, make decoupage, write poetry and play in front of the camera. Demri was well known and had numerous friends that she touched with her charismatic and enchanting personality. Most of her friends described her as a very sweet and beautiful person, kind, peaceful and artistic.

Demri was bisexual, and she was a nudist.

Spring of 1990 - Demri and Layne by Krista Kay.

Life with Layne Staley

She met musician Layne Staley of Alice in Chains at a store called “Saturdays” where she was working, in 1988. According to David de Sola’s book “Alice in Chains: The Untold Story”, it was love at first sight. They started dating around spring or summer that year.

She is thanked in the liner notes of “Facelift”, which was released on August 1990. She is not, as widely but wrongly believed, the woman on the cover of Alice in Chains’s album “Dirt”, released on September 29, 1992, that is model and actress Mariah O'Brien.

Layne Staley and Demri Parrott were, according to close friends and bandmates, described as perfect for each other and the term “soulmates” has been used more than once to define their relationship. They were engaged to marry on 1992. David de Sola writes in his biography of Alice in Chains: “They had chosen the place called Kiana Lodge on Bainbridge Island [Kitsap County, Washington] as the wedding venue.” Demri did pick out a dress, and Alice in Chains’ band member “Mike Starr said he was going to be best man at Layne and Demri’s wedding.”

Both Demri and Layne became drug addicts, hooked to heroin. Although she went to rehab several times, it didn’t work to her, and sometimes had to turn to theft and prostitution to get some money for the drugs. When she struggled with addiction she ended up homeless, often couch surfing from place to place and staying with different friends and family before moving on, and carrying most of her valuable things in her suitcase.

However, in the years that followed “Dirt"’s success, Layne and Demri drifted apart, and their engagement broke sometime in 1994, although she features in the cover of Mad Season’s “Above” (Mad Season was an American rock super group formed in 1994 as a side project of members of other bands in the Seattle grunge scene that included Layne), released in March 1995.

September 1996 - One of the last known photos of Demri, with her mother Kathleen. Courtesy of Kathleen who first shared it with Memories of Demri. 

Later Life and Death

Demri suffered endocarditis (an inflammation of the inner layer of the heart, the endocardium, that can be caused by a bacterial infection. Risk factors include intravenous drug use). She had open heart surgery and had a pig valve and pacemaker inserted in her heart in 1994. The previous year she had suffered pancreatitis. It made a toll in her tiny body and doctors knew she wouldn’t make it. Demri was in and out of the hospital for the last couple of years of her life.

At the time of her death, she was clean, but for her last hours, she was at a friend’s house, who took her to Evergreen Hospital in Kirkland, Washington, and recognized too late that she wasn’t doing well on the pills she’d ingested. Demri lapsed into a coma and spent the last 12 hours of her life unconscious in an intensive care unit at Evergreen Hospital, with only her mother and her aunt by her side, before doctors turned off the life-support machines on the morning of October 29, 1996. Her cause of death was an accute intoxication and the combined effects of opiate, meprobamate and butalbital. She was only 27.

Alice in Chains manager Susan Silver told journalist Greg Prato in his book “Grunge Is Dead: The Oral History of Seattle Rock Music” that she was the one who went to Layne’s apartment to tell him that Demri had died. Friends comment that after Demri died, Layne was put on suicide watch for 24 hours.

Demri Parrott was buried at the Miller-Woodlawn Memorial Park in Bremerton, Kitsap County, Washington, USA. Her memorial service took place on November 2 at Neighborhood Christian Center, and donations were made to Harborview Adult Medicine Alcohol and Drug Rehabilitation, Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, Washington.

(Source)

Toddler Demri in the early 1970s, shared by her cousin Kaytie Lee.

Amber Ferrano: “Demri was just a girl who wanted to follow her dreams. They changed but one was to be a soap opera actress and especially play twins so she could do more acting. She wanted to marry a man she loved, have kids, and live on a block with all her friends so we could watch each other’s kids, garden together and borrow sugar. I’m sure that block included her mom and her brothers, sister, cousin, dad, grandparents, etc. Because she loved her family dearly and her friends like family.
We were all supposed to live on the same block on Magnolia to watch each others kids and to borrow sugar from each other as Demri always said. She picked out the block and everything and everyone including Chris [Cornell] seemed to love that idea. Demri always wanted to come garden or have her own place to garden. Layne was going to help her get a place to do that before she died.”


Mike Bobis: “I wonder what Dem would be like now. Probably still trying to talk me into doing things I know I shouldn’t but would, simply cause it’d be easier than dealing with her giving me shit for not doing them. 
I do miss them. They’d be the best hippie parents ever. We could barely get Dem to wear a shirt sometimes. Oh Dem, the wild child.”

Fabiola Gonzalez: “She always said, ‘What’s the big deal? I have a boy’s chest!’. Best parents ever [Layne & Demri]. I miss that they weren’t here to share in it. When Kurt passed I came to Seattle and saw Dem, and she put her ear to my pregnant belly and said, ‘Isn’t it wild? Two boys!’. When the boys were less than a year old, I went to Mad Season with Layne’s stepdad. After the show, I showed him pictures, and Layne saw my son’s photo and grinned, ‘He’s got big ears!’. They always wanted children. I met Dem’s baby sister and Layne held her close. They wanted, but they knew their ‘condition’. The last time we saw her was at Wedgewood, she made sure to come out to our car and give my sons lovins’ in their car seats, they were barely two years old. I saw it in her eyes and felt it in her soul. How I wish and hoped Demri would be around here for a while and have her own, and share in the joy of babies. She would have been a beautiful mom. Besides my boys, they were the loves of my life. They were so full of life! That’s what they left us – live life love. Never take it for granted, never abandon children!”

Terri Brannon: “Last time I saw her, I went over to Carolina Court to say goodbye because I was moving back to Arkansas. I had a very sad feeling when I hugged her. I knew in my heart I’d never see her again. She was so full of life back then. A wild gypsy child. Reminded me of myself many years before. It’s been years and years, but you never forget Demri. She is unforgettable.” [2]

Johnny Bacolas: “I’ll never forget her energy. She always had the energy of a vibrant little girl. I miss her so much. Still. I remember all the talks we had late at night.”

Karie Pfeiffer-Simmons: “I hold our childhood memories very dear to my heart and I will forever remember our laughter, tears, talking about our future dreams together and pulling all of us girls together to teach us about the big ‘S’ word. We had no idea what was ahead. We lost touch. I miss you so much! You touched the lives of everyone who was privileged to have you around. Thank you for touching mine. You're forever in my heart!”

Fabiola Gonzalez: “The last time I saw Layne was at his U-District condo and he had a room set up with the newest digital drums of the time and headphones. He wanted me to play and I embarrassingly did. He had to show me how to hold the sticks and I meekly tried a cadence. He had a big photo of Demri that I had given to him from a photographer we worked with. It was in black and white and she’s got a cheesy grin, holding a conga drum. It was February 22, 2000, her birthday. As I sat on the drummer’s chair, the photo to the left of me fell off the shelf it was on and turned upside down. Layne and I looked at each other bug-eyed! We went up to his deck that overlooked Lake Washington and wished her a Happy Birthday in the night. Then we were silent and at peace when we looked over the water and the stars. We hung out until the sun rose that morning.”

Keli Lake: “Demri is special to me because she inspired my self-confidence. It’s complicated since she lacked it herself. It’s like she gave it all away until she was depleted. Beautiful person to me.”

Lea Nichols: “Demri was an It-girl who could get anything she wanted when she put her mind and energy into it. She was a very extreme person and whenever she did something she did it with every bit of herself. I loved Demri and I will always remember the times we had together. People don’t understand because they were not there but she was a very good and sweet person. I don’t think except one or two times did I ever see her in a down energy or mood, she always had positive things to say about everybody, she was very sweet. I love her, especially with all the rotten people in the world now that go out of their way to be cruel on social media and bully people. She was not like that, she would never have done that. She was such a good person, even if she got sick and did some things to get the fix she needed to feel better. Remember, until you walk in somebody else’s shoes you cannot know what they’re going through or why they do the things they do so I suggest people don’t slander or mark up a name of somebody like her because she captivated thousands and thousands after laying passed away but in life she was captivating to all her friends, there is no blame to put on her for Layne’s downward spiral. Other than that she was beautiful and he lost his soulmate, the only blame would be in how beautiful she was inside and out.”

Barbara Dearaujo: “I find it so right that even after Demri’s passing she still has that undeniable charismatic spark that still attracts people to her like a magnet in a crazy way even 25-30 years later. Pretty powerful stuff if you ask me. She was loved by many and she will never be forgotten by those who knew her and hopefully now by those who only knew of her. I also hope people learn something from her life and from her death, if nothing else to stay away from drugs and to love themselves. To love life and to love people. To smile as much as possible and to laugh even when you want to cry.”

*VERY SPECIAL THANKS TO LITTLE QUEENIES AND MEMORIES OF DEMRI*

Some great Demri sites you MUST check: 

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